Tuesday, September 14, 2010

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ANNOUNCEMENT


One thing I’ve always hated are the obligatory “sorry I haven’t posted in a while” posts that every sporadic blog seems to have. This won’t be one of them.
There comes a point in your life where you realize the limits of your talent. God gives talent, but he can also give us the perception to see the limit of that talent. One day, you wake up and realize that limit. It can keep you from frustration and spinning your wheels fruitlessly, but it can also be a very hard thing to accept.
For a very long time, I wanted nothing more than to be a writer. This blog was one of the ways I tried to follow that. But simply put, I’m tired of slamming my head up against the wall and getting nowhere. There’s something to be said for perseverance, but there’s also something to be said for knowing when to pack it in.
I don’t feel that in the long run, I can keep this blog up with the sort of quality I want from it. A lot of that is just realizing the limits of my own talent. Some of it is personal/family-related, but ultimately I’d rather do no blog at all than a poor one. This isn’t spur-of-the-moment, and I’ve taken the time to think it over. But I’m tired of trying to mold my life on a dream that isn’t going to happen. Too much frustration, too much mediocrity, and too much time put into it all. My family deserves more than that, and maybe in the end, I do, too.
I’ll be doing some articles up through Gen Con Indy, in large part because I have a number of obligations I need to meet, including another year of liveblogging Gen Con (I have to think that will continue in some form, somewhere, for a while yet). Once that’s over, I’ll either be stepping aside or fading into the background, possibly as a minor contributor with another blogger taking over day-to-day things. I still plan to be involved in a few online communities, as well as with RPG Circus, so that won’t stop. There may be other projects, but I don’t just don’t know.
We still have a while before the road ends, but I wanted to tell you now. Thanks for reading, and I hope you join me for the rest of the trip, wherever that leads. So many of you have been so kind, I can’t begin to thank you enough for what your words of encouragement have meant. I wish that alone was enough to give you quality content, but at the end of the day, it just isn’t there.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

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Inception was a Bad Movie


When Memento came out in 2000, it was something of a sleeper hit and everyone had to see it. "You've got to see this," said my friends. It looked dumb to me. The premise was boring. Guy has amnesia and tries to find the person who killed his wife. Wow, what an original concept. Amnesia and wife killing? This must be the work of a cliché artist I thought to myself. I didn't see the film until five years later when I was looking for something to watch with my boyfriend. It was a bad movie. I wasn't disappointed and I wasn't surprised. The characters were one-dimensional, the plot and "twists" were predictable, the action scenes lacked finesse, and everything else about the poorly paced film was boring. I didn't care that his wife was killed and I didn't care that he had amnesia. This is what I like to call the Phantom Menace effect.

One of my primary gripes with Star Wars: Episode I, alongside the fact that its just plain terrible, is that I couldn't care less about any of the characters. Qui-gon Gin or whatever was just a dude and when Darth Maul stabbed him nobody cared. Darth Maul wasn't even cool because he just looked like a goth kid and had no history or motivation. The only reason we care at all about Obi-wan is that we've seen him for 5 seconds in a previous film. We're treated to many great special effects and lots of people we don't care about running around doing nothing. The "Phantom Menace" subtitle isn't describing Palpatine's plot to take over the galaxy, it's describing the feeling I get from all the characters: vague shadows of people cloaked and lurking around the set. It just gets worse with the next two prequels but we're not here for StarWars talk.

The one thing that was kind of novel about Memento was the play with time; how you simultaneously go forward and backward in time as whatever-the-main-character's-name-was is trying to find out what happened to him. But the effect was interesting for about the first 10 minutes of the 113 minute film, and was really nothing more than some art house shtick, which is probably exactly where our illustrious director lifted it from. The whole movie was basically a single gimmick that I could have understood in about a minute and been satisfied with.

When I first saw Batman Begins I was so thrilled that it wasn't a horrible and cartoony Tim Burton abortion that I failed to see Christopher Nolan's name and thought it was a good movie. After I saw The Dark Knight, however, I paused. Something was wrong here. How could The Dark Night be so terrible yet I loved Batman Begins? Well I re-watched it and it turns out Batman Begins was also a bad movie. I could go on with why exactly I feel this way about the Batman movies, but my following appraisal of Inception will work well for any Nolan film. In fact, one word describes how I feel about Christopher Nolan's movies: porridge.


Written and directed by Christopher Nolan.

Sometimes he stirs the porridge and there are some scene changes. Sometimes he pours some syrup on the porridge and its a bit sweet, other times he goes for the cinnamon spice. But at the end of the day you have a bowl of processed grain in milk and no matter what you do to it, it's going to look the same, taste the same, and have the same gooey texture in your mouth. Christopher Nolan knows this and he also knows that the sheltered and philistine American audience loves porridge. Every few years he cooks up a big batch for everyone and dishes it out at Cinemark. He slops it into your tray for around $9. "Please, sir. I want some more!" shout the American audiences, all too eager to recruit their friends for indentured servitude under the MPAA. Thus a summer blockbuster is born.

Inception starts out innocently enough: a Bond-esque opener with asian dudes and some neat architecture. Oh but wait a minute, this is actually a dream. Ahh, the thread is unwound. But it's a dream within a dream! Oh my. Then some guy gets dragged off. And Leonardo (I honestly can't remember his character's name) is working for the asian guy or something. And he's the best. Maybe. There's lots of stuff happening but the pacing is such that Nolan hopes you won't notice how shoddy the scenes are. What's in the dream box? Why are they giving each other blood transfusions? Are we in the future or an alternate reality? Well I don't really care about any of that anyway so I will just keep watching.

Ok so he has to assemble a team so he can work for the asian dude but he's wanted for murder and stuff. Some cute indie college girl who is from France but speaks perfect English decides to follow Leo on his highly dangerous and illegal escapades for no reason at all. Michael Caine makes a cameo. Girl starts to learn about Leo's secret which is that he's a sparkly vampire and also feels responsible for his idiot wife's death and that interferes with his ability to work somehow. They go to Africa and there's a dude, then there's two dudes and a chase scene or two for some reason. Most of the one-liners that will be repeated ad nausem have been said at least once at this point. Gems like, "you see a train but you want to get on the train but you can't." Pseudo-intellectual stuff. (Nolan just added some apple slices to the porridge, hope you enjoy.)

Then more stuff happens and they have to abduct this guy so Leo can get home, whatever. They enter his dreams and about one hour into the movie, the actual movie that everyone came to see starts. So they're in his mind now and everything is paced oddly and doesn't make sense (and I don't mean the time-domain-multiplication effect or whatever nonsense) but that's because they're in a dream dummy! It's not lazy film-making! There some special effects and fight scenes (sugar & spice) and some pathetically visible twists and turns and eventually they get out of his mind maybe except the editor forgot to put in the part where they're all back on the plane. And then maybe we're still in Leo's dream? Wow what a cliffhanger, Nolan. I'm on the edge of my seat, except not because I almost fell asleep during this two-and-a-half-hour-long snooze fest.

Leo's character never changes. A bunch of people I don't care about run around doing nothing. Except this time they're dreaming. It was all a dream! The king of cliché has done it again. The only reason I'm bothering to review this movie is because I'm tired of movies like this. It's irritating. I saw it because everyone said it was great. Nolan fooled me once more into grasping the ladle and sucking down his broth, and of course it was once again a boring waste of time. I'm mad about it in the same way that one gets mad at a pro opponent in a video game. Nolan is a pro at churning out crap that anyone is apparently ready to lick from his asshole, and it makes me mad because I wish I was that good.


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Best dad blog 7/25/10:



All and all had a great weekend, nothing major happend on friday just watched my dodgers lose (again) and saw that we got barnes and Ratliff with the mothat fuckin LAKERS BITCH THREEE-PEAT
Excited. I can't wait till


Sorry phone haha I type like i am doing stuff in rea
Ugh suprised I got the kids tonight! not so much suprise, as in I had other things to do and they were dumped on me. lol, I love my kids though, no big thing. They are getting so big, my oldest can ardictulate words since he's in first grade and knows the beer from soda atleast now.
Haha, you should've seen frankies face when I told him to get me a beer. Frank came back all pussy footing around and i was like " noo bitch i asked my son, you retard, double tf isting keeps you interesting"

It was coke classic, an mirror status. Anyways sporscenter is on dun an dun dun a dunahah kids are sleepin and i'm about to be nintendo wii'n after the top 10 plays

Friday, July 23, 2010

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The best DAD!

Diary of the best dad
A little bit about me:
Yeah, I'm that guy you know... I work for the city, I'm divorsed and I raise my kids properly 2-3 days that I have them.
Sure, you could have a beer with me, always down for that.
I'm the best dad you know!
I work all day, pay the bills, and still have time to play with my kids (if the dodgers, raiders or lakers are playing GO RAIDERS!)
Can cook like my life depended on it, BBQ hamburgers, hot dogs, mac n cheez' and my rice cooker makes bomb ass sweet rice.
My divorce is still pending..
I don't give a fuck about that bitch and how she lies to my kids
sure I don't have a drivers licences but that doesn't get me down, I still pay my rent when I get paid and make sure my kids play quietly in their room while i watch the game. :D
I own 2 dogs that i treat almost as good as my kids but they'll kill each other if i don't have them in crates while i'm at work o
This blog is my blog and I plan keep my chronic and my day to day life here when I can.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

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Alvin Greene for Senator Rap Video

Alvin Greene, South Carolina Democratic nominee for the U.S. Senate and official friend of BLOG released his first campaign ad today, a rap video personally written and directed by Greene:


The video highlights Greene's positions on justice and education and includes a "diss" against Greene's opponent, incumbent republican Sen. Jim DeMint. Will the momentum generated by Alvin Greene's daring viral video be enough to put him over the top in November? Some sources say yes.


(Personal note about my long absence: I haven't been fired, trust me! I've just been abusing labor laws that for some reason allow me to smoke pot all day without doing any work and still get paid if I have a doctor's note. Thanks Obama!)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

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did ya'll see another white guy done shot at the police




hello welcome to this blog. do not tell the police about this blog. if you are a cop do not read this blog. if you are a cop and you read this blog that is entrapment and i'll have your badge for this. your career is over, because you read this blog. onlyi f you're a cop. this blog will not destroy career unless you are police.

hi i'm writing for BLOG, maybe. my interests include drugs, politics, video game, and drugs. i hate the fucking police.

so this guy got all mad about "left-wing policies" and decided to go get pulled over on purpose and shoot at the police. i'm not sure if he thinks its a left-wing policy that caused him to be unable to get a job because he's an ex-felon, causing him to live with his mother, because he's an old white guy so he can't just sell drugs like a reasonable ex-felon. since that article doesn't say what his previous felony(s) were, i'm going to assume they're bestiality and taping major league baseball without consent.

at first glance conservatives shooting at the police seems like a win/win. the police are being shot at and a conservative gets shot or at least goes to prison. there is a dark side, however, to shooting at authority figures for no particular reason. and that's that people who make decisions about things love the police, even more than they love old white people. when you shoot at the police they give them new powers. did you know that in england it is illegal to look at the police. its true.

when should you shoot at the police, then? most people, when asked, will say "all the time" or "whenever they get in my way" (this one especially if they're action heroes) but the answer is that you should only shoot at the police if you see them committing an injustice, like shooting a handcuffed guy, or giving me a ticket. or maybe you shouldn't shoot them at all. to be honest its probably not a good idea.

but if you have to shoot at someone, why not consider wall street? it might be a bit of a drive, sure. but its not like you have anything else to do, clearly, and the worst case scenario is that you get pulled over and get that police shoot out you were aiming for anyway. and, if you're lucky, you just might manage to shoot someone who really is responsible for your country's problems.

or just shoot yourself. w/e

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April's Hot Hot Spot #3: Female priests are bad!




Female priests are as bad as pedophiles?

Since I'm not a catholic you would think this issue would not bother me.
How wrong you are!
This clown with the stupid hat who runs the world's largest sausage party
thinks that he is funny?
This girl doesn't.
Look, if they want to run around raping little boys and then cover it up
then that's their thing.
I don't agree with sexually molesting young people - but I don't wear a stupid hat.


I guess for these jerks it's just all a bit of fun.



Which reminds me so much of good old Rick "Man On Dog" Santorum:Add Image
"Santorum described the ability to regulate consensual homosexual acts as
comparable to the states' ability to regulate other consensual and non-consensual
sexual behaviors, such as adultery, polygamy, child molestation, incest, sodomy and
zoophilia (bestiality), whose decriminalization he believed would threaten society
and the family, as they are not monogamous and heterosexual."


Don't these goofs understand anything? Let's take the case of the most
talented and lovely Princess Victoria of Sweden:
Add Image


We all know she wouldn't condone these silly and despicable
sorts of things.