Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Raoul Moat: Sexxxy beast




TODAY in the NEWS OF THE WORLD, a giant hulking body-building roid-raged (chubby) baby-man is cold shootin' people on a mad rampage. Here we have exclusive SEXXXY stories we grabbed from his letters in jail to his beau, 22-year old Samantha Stobbart!

These letters indicate a man both furious and passionate and fully in love with his young beau. We have transcribed several of his letters for your perusal and arousal. We have not corrected for spelling or grammar as we feel it would only dilute his passion.

Letter 1:
This letter was dated June 3, 2010.

Oi luv,

Got me a shiv today from some bugger in the showrs, fat cunt tried t'take me inna ponce an I shoved 'im in the wall an took is shiv while 'e cried like a week little sod. Nw i got me a weapin an no one aint messing with me affer seeing how I done'im up.

I took him from behin ta show 'im whose boss and thought of u the whole time. my dearest farter, oh how I fucked the farts outta the little ginger bitch as I thoughta u. Can't wait to plug yr old boilhole when I get outta 'ere. Hope the wee tyke is holding up well and enjoying that box of fags I sent.

luv to u, my sexy Sam, from yr sexy bulldog,
-R

Letter 2:
Dated June 15 2010

U filthy rotten whore,
Sam you fuckd a pig! U fucked a fuckin pig and I am gonna get u pissfuck. Dirty little rotter o how I an gonna get in there and win u back you cheating cunt. Gonna shot the pig copper inis fuckface an then I gonna roll im over an roger is asshole good while I show u who is the real man 'ere. I wil fuck alla the dead farts outta his arsehole while I make you watch so u know what u have comin to u. U are my life and I will fuck every copper in Briton fore u .

I still luv u bitch,
-R

Letter 3:
Dated June 30, 2010

Oi!
Git yr farts ready u traiterous little cunt, and make sure your copper friend is lubed up so I kin roger his dead ass silly. Imma get me a gun or three anna make right sure no fart is unfucked in the goddamn country. I will show u what happens when u betray me my filthy whore love.
-your dearest farter



4 comments:

Anonymous said...

guys name is ill

Anonymous said...

His name isn't Roaulmotely ill

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